Sun, 11/08/2009 - 11:07
The Egyptian government has decided to begin selling virtual bread to alleviate some of the stress on those less fortunate starting January 2010.
Although virtual bread cannot neccessarily be eaten, studies show that the image of a freshly baked, steaming loaf of baladi bread can go a long distance in alleviating some of the mental stress associated with a lack of basic human living conditions.
Scandanavian experts, brought in to deal with the poverty issue, have demonstrated that the mind can sometimes be tricked into "seeing" an actual piece of bread. Speaking on behalf of the experts, the bespectecaled Mr. Hans Aun Ur Butt admitted,"Ja I mean we are happy with those results, the brain believes, ok. But we are still unsure how to make the actual stomach happy."
The government is reportedly so thrilled with this economical method of appeasing the masses (while also making some money), it has started hiring dozens of teenagers to work in dark basements creating high-res images of other various goods poverty-stricken Egyptians desire.
Indeed, the method is proving a novel and innovative way to tackle a complex issue, and EKT has investigated further. We chatted online with Mr. M@ndo Sh@ndo from the Pyramids Poverty Strategic Centar. Mr. Sh@ndo explained, "It would be so expensive to feed all the hungry people, the government can barely afford the F16 jets these days. Understandably, it has been looking for cost-effective alternatives to feeding the people."
Mr. Sh@ndo also pointed to a recent study that showed that the consumption of bread was the leading cause of most criminal acts. Virtual bread conveniently eliminated this problem.
EKT also learned that as an act of further compassion, and to enhance the effects of the virtual bread, complimentary high definition computer screens will be handed out to the needy beginning next month.