Saturday, 22nd of November, 2014
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El Koshary Philosophy

In case you haven't noticed, El Koshary Today in not a “real” news site. Our philosophy here is to use sarcasm and imagination to raise awareness of some of the serious (and not so serious) issues plaguing our nation. It is not intended to relay any factual information or credible circumstances, though where possible readers will find news links to the actual issues being satirized herein.

To elaborate, El Koshary Today offers satirical commentaries that exaggerate the evident problems in our society in a way that, hopefully, makes us laugh, but also impels us to start doing something about it.

In other words, like the meal it’s named after, El Koshary Today is about a random mix of uniquely Egyptian “infogredients” that can nourish your sense of humour, but more importantly implore you to demand more from the remarkable (and indeed, at times bizarre) society that invented that very meal.

Here are some of our more pressing concerns:

Sexism / Sexual harassment
Needless to say, inequality between the sexes in Egypt remains far below the barest acceptable level. We're still worried about getting "our" women purified (that is, de-sexualizing them) and obsessing about their virginity. Men, on the other hand, get a pat on the back for making women feel like they don't want to walk the streets again.

Political tyranny / Corruption
Thirty years of military dictatorship and emergency rule humbles the likes of Kim Jong-il and Mugabe. A military coup dubbed "revolution of independence" has taken the land of civilization from being one of the most prosperous in the region to a mere shadow of its past. Too much is snatched from our hands, and even if you're from the chosen elites you still need to bribe your way to safety.

Pollution / Traffic / Urban planning
Whether it's 20-story buildings without a parking lot, or badly paved five lane highways funneling down to two, urban life in Egypt's major cities is virtually a disaster. Everyone's to blame, from the planners, to the idiotic drivers, to the policemen who stop passengers in the middle of busy roads during rush hour. Without a concerted effort to mend this escalating catastrophe, we risk spending most of our lives in transport, getting high on carbon monoxide.

Daily economic affairs / Class divisions
While hundreds are complaining of the rough ride on the Mehwar, millions are starving to death and praying for water, electricity and any sort of health care. With more and more Beemers and Mercedes per square kilometer, the middle class (the historical producer of Egypt's finest intellectuals) has all but diminished, leaving a quarter of the population on or below the international poverty line. Sometimes, a proper road to school with basic education is more important than gardens with pools.

Religious fundamentalism
You'd be fooling yourself if you thought Egypt has always been a conservative society. The vast majority of Egyptians have a tendency to slowly but surely swing to extremes, and the current observers are witnessing the most religious generations in history. Obsessions with appearing pious, whether Muslim or Coptic, have driven us to jump at the opportunity of misinterpretation, while also longing for the fantastical days of the prophets. We have reached a point of taking others' path to God as a responsibility of our own, all via the logic of "there is no way but the right way."


Unfortunately, we predict that some of our readers will take offense to some of our material. To them, we apologize, but we would politely ask them lighten up. For in the words of one great philosopher, “If we can’t laugh at ourselves, then we are lost.” (Actually, we just made that quote up, but it’s true!)

Also, if you happen to be a celebrity or a figure of authority that has come under the (at times) biting El Koshary sarcasm, we would kindly ask you to keep lawsuits and death threats to a minimum. For one thing, our mothers would not be happy at all with that.