Wed, 10/21/2009 - 02:18
In an unprecedented move to improve the quality of life of Israeli settlers in the West Bank, the Israeli government has recently completed building Disney Land just outside Ramallah.
“Our brave settlers in the West Bank live difficult lives,” says Ben Khikhshmabitchikh, head of the Arabs are our Whoes agency (AROW). “They are often victims of illegal transgressions by the Palestinian nomads, and so we thought the best way to improve their situation and help them feel more at home in the West Bank was to build a Disney Land.”
In a gesture of exceptional tolerance and peace promotion on the Israeli side, the colossal theme park also allows Palestinians to access certain parts of it through its eastern gateway.
“Even though we were here long before them,” says project director Aneh Netinwemaafin, “we understand that we have to share our God-chosen land with the Palestinians.”
Some of the rides open to Palestinians are designed to help them vent their frustrations through a healthy channel and in a secure environment. “For example,” says a smiling Netinwemaafin, “in one ride, Palestinians can dress up as any of their favourite Disney characters and enjoy throwing rocks at life-size wax renditions of Mahmoud Abbas.”
“Perhaps our most noteworthy ride exclusively made for Palestinians,” adds Netinwemaafin, “is a bus filled with holographic Israeli citizens. Here, aggravated Palestinians can strap on any home-made explosive of their choosing, and enter the bus to blast themselves in a safe and secure environment.” Indeed, one Hamas supporter in Gaza has noted that “this is a great way to train for the real event, although unfortunately the participants don’t usually make it back out again.”
Some of the highlights of Disney Land Ramallah include a circumcised Mickey Mouse (something both Jews and Muslims alike could agree on) and a Menorah shaped roller coaster ride.
However, easing the lives of settlers and providing an outlet for frustrated Palestinians appear not to be the only motives behind the massive undertaking. “To be honest,” admits AROW head Khikhshmabitchikh, “we continue to receive so much US funding each year, despite how well our economy and military are doing, that until the idea of Disney Land was proposed by President Bush last year, we really did not know what to do with all this surplus.”
On last meeting the ex-American president, Mr. Bush was pleased to announce to El Koshary Today that, “I’d promised by the end of my term there would be peace in the Middle Eastern continent, and by God I gone and done it.”