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Swine Flu Mutates into Flying Pig Flu

There's a new "bird" in town

| Written by makarona

Thu, 10/22/2009 - 02:56

The dreaded fusion of swine and avian flu became a reality yesterday when winged pigs were seen flying over Tahrir Square. The marriage between the two viruses is expected to result in a mega killing epidemic that could see Egypt’s population shrink to a manageable level.

“We are very excited by these developments,” said Ministry of Health spokesman Momken Bosa, adding, “but we will try our best to deter this menace and keep casualties to a respectable number.”

Some of these measures by the ministry have included a public ban on the use of the phrase “if pigs could fly”, as well as the destruction of several airliners at Cairo International Airport. “You can’t be too careful,” said Bosa, “we are eradicating anything that can fly at this point, as it is theoretically possible that the flying pigs could merge with the airplanes into something even the Grendizar would not be able to stop.”

Some of the symptoms of the flying pig flu include sudden mass labour unrest, resulting in multi-industrial strikes. This is already evident in some districts where garbage collectors are now striking, with some piles of trash competing in height with the Cairo Tower.

Authorities are advising citizens at this time to stay indoors and to pray that maybe, just maybe, if we do nothing effective at all, this will all just go away like a bad dream. “Hey, it’s worked out for most of our other problems,” said Bosa before leaving the press conference in his diamond-studded Ferrari, “just look at how much corruption’s gone down over the years!”

Colin Rogers

Wed, 10/28/2009 - 16:30

Dear EKT Team,

Looking at this masterpiece, I feel totally honoured to have contributed a little something to your education.

Incredibly well done! This is really funny and sums up all the mad, wonderful problems of Egypt and the Middle East. Have either of you thought of running for President?

All best wishes.

Colin Rogers

makarona

Wed, 10/28/2009 - 17:28

With all due respect Mr. Colin (if you don't mind our inveterate use of Mr.), you've contributed far more than "a little something" to our education.

We look back at those days with big smiles and a deep sense of nostalgia. I suppose this here is our channel for keeping the naughtiness alive. As for the presidency, "when pigs can fly" perhaps :)

wardzeyada

Wed, 10/28/2009 - 17:58

Mr. Colin,

We're the ones who are totally honoured, without a doubt. The beautiful memories of the good ol' days are fresh in our minds. It would take a lifetime or two to return that "little something" of an education we were enlightened with.

We would've considered running for presidency, but after our opinion article on a likely successor, we've decided to shift our focus on activities with a better chance of success!

If there is absolutely anything that we could do for you, don't think twice before granting us the opportunity to attempt to give back a small portion of what we owe.

Thank you, Mr. Colin.

subarlox

Wed, 10/28/2009 - 23:09

Dear Mr. Colin,

As my comrades get at above we could ask for no greater validation.

You did afterall, provide us with best environment to meet in.

and again, thank you!

Mr Colin's sister

Thu, 10/29/2009 - 04:44

Mr Colin forwarded your very witty and wonderful article to us. I am now forwarding it to some friends so your fame is spreading around the world! You sure got a great education at El Alsson.

Linda Wilkins

3abbas Elbrens

Sat, 11/07/2009 - 14:57

It is worth mentioning that this new flew (typo intended) resulting in flying pooping pigs will result into a parking dilemma, as you don't want to wipe pig poo off your wind shield in the morning, so parking will have to be indoor only.

A nony mouse

Mon, 12/14/2009 - 15:08

You stole my line.

The US should have sent the Air Force to the Mexican border. How do you suppose the pigs got into the US? The Swine Flew.

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