Wed, 12/02/2009 - 18:51
The Cairo Traffic Authority has implemented yet another revolutionary strategy in the streets of the City Victorious. After breaking its own annual record of 72,473 driver deaths and 89,253 pedestrian fatalities (with 23 species going extinct), the CTA has decided to step up its efforts and further enhance residents' lives.
The initiative has been dubbed the Hazard-less Animated and Dynamic Signs Arrangement, or HADSA, introducing neon-lit street signs in pointedly random areas, such as near where government officials reside. The new collection includes a creative variety with a twist of Egyptian wit. One sign shows a helpless little green-lit man running for his life at lightning speed, only to be run-over by a 4 x 4, and then crushed by a truck.
“This helps convey a realistic message,” explains Enta Keda Hateddas, head of HADSA and coincidently the one responsible for the importation of the severely-priced gadgets from Taiwan. “This way, pedestrians will comprehend the seriousness of the situation, and can therefore make wiser decisions like stay at home.”
Another sign that has impressed the crowds are the upward and downward arrows placed at the start and finish of bridges. “Simple!” declared Mr. Hateddas, “We bought signs for the left and right curves and rotated them 90 degrees. That way we can reduce confusion for drivers on bridges, and also help mollify passengers who frequently enter unexplainable panic attacks and nervous breakdowns when approaching a bridge.”
Along with the signs, the CTA has also purchased and installed enormous screen panels across Gamaet El Dewal Street that successfully grab drivers' attention using psychedelic imagery while displaying a clear message: Keep your attention focused on the road. Bizarrely, areas near these screens have been witnessing an increase in road fatalities lately.
Such a landmark movement is always accompanied by a hefty price tag. Fortunately, only a third of the budgets for education and health-care were sacrificed to cover the costs, making this “possibly Egypt’s best budgeting decision yet,” as Mr. Hateddas indicates.
Initial indications have demonstrated the project's effectiveness. The number of patients going through therapy for “fear of confronting bridges”, and the number of cars that automatically ram into a sidewalk on turns, have remained at zero.
After the positive feedback, the CTA is looking into expanding to all of the “critical” parts of Cairo, while less significant areas are urged to wait for their main roads to be paved. According to reports published by the National Democratic Party, natives to poorer areas feel honored to make basic sacrifices for their more valuable counterparts.