Wed, 10/28/2009 - 12:59
In an admirable effort to end class segregation in Egypt, residential compounds in El Sheikh Zayed City have united their borders and declared themselves an independent nation. The name of the new country on the western outskirts of Cairo is yet to be announced, though rumours suggest the contending names are Eliteland, Etiquettestan, and the more descriptive Republique des Villas et Piscines.
The decision to withdraw from Egypt came after the compounds’ wealthy residents decided that the best way to end the unjust divide in Egypt between the “haves” and the “have-nots” was to put all the “haves” in their own separate country.
“The inequality between the classes has finally ended,” declared President Chantel Abdel Moneim in English, head of the newly formed state, but also part-time housewife and poodle lover. Speaking from the rooftop of her villa (which was purportedly airlifted in its entirety from Tuscany), she added, "L'Égypte, alors, is no longer a segregated country of the very poor and the très riches. Without us sharing the border, it is finalement a society of equal no opportunities with more justly spread out expériences of suffering."
Indeed, since the breaking away, Egypt has been declared by the UN as the most equal society on the planet. All remaining 98% live equably just below or just above the international poverty line.
Once again, it seems Karl Marx was wrong. After all of history’s past struggles to bridge the divides between the classes, the solution turned out to be a simple matter of rearranging borders.
El Koshary Today will be back with more news on the newly formed state, with controversial rumours that the only koshary venue inside is being shut down and replaced with a Louis Vuitton boutique.