Wed, 11/10/2010 - 00:34
The Ministry of Health has announced plans to hold mass celebrations next week after discovering that its anti-smoking campaign finally caused at least one Egyptian individual to consider quitting.
The campaign, called Samwekny, la2 shokran, consisted of printing controversial images on cigarette packs, such as a picture of filthy teeth, a “limpy” cigarette depicting male impotence, and, most surprisingly, a portrait of the Egyptian President.
“We were trying to use any image on the packs that is seen as unpopular by the masses,” said Health Ministry consultant Matgeeb Segara, “and this is the best we could come up with so far.”
It was the filthy teeth, however, that forced Habib Smokkat, an 83 year-old truck mechanic, to consider quitting after seeing the reflection of his own teeth in the mirror at the ER, where he spends most of his days.
Smokkat is suffering from severe brain damage after his smoking addiction led him to inhale truck exhaust in an attempt to “scratch the itch.”
When EKT caught up with Smokkat he was barely able to speak, though it was not clear whether this was because of his brain damage or because he was shoving m3assel tobacco down his throat and up his nostrils.
However, Smokkat did manage to eventually point to his four remaining caramel-coloured teeth and shake his head solemnly. When tears of blood began to form in the corners of Smokkat's already bloodshot eyes, your EKT correspondent decided it was best to just leave.
While the anti-smoking campaign has cost the government billions, with some reports indicating that it inadvertently postponed Gamal Mubarak’s presidential campaign, the Ministry of Health is not stopping there. It is confident it can limit the number of active male smokers to a bearable 93% from the current statistically thought-provoking figure of 103%.
Plans have leaked of a new initiative code-named “Only Gay Israelis smoke” with visuals like the one shown here.
“If that won’t stop them,’ said Matgeeb Segara,” I don’t know what will.”
Sadly, not everyone shares the ministry's ambitious mission. Bee2a minister El Pashmohandis Mat7ellaha Inta expressed his disagreement.
"I just don't see how the situation in Egypt will improve if we reduce smoking," he questioned.
Inta added, "We need more small parks with pretty little fences and posters of the president and his family. That's how we can improve our pee2a."