Fri, 10/30/2009 - 21:46
ASWAN: Crocodiles attempted to attack the Aswan High Dam late Thursday night. Luckily, the Egyptian Cowntar Terrorist Force (ECTF) mounted one of the largest raids in Egypt's history to prevent what is now being called "major attack" by the hitherto unknown group calling itself Mighty Nile Crocs (MNC).
Naming it a significant success in defending our nation's security at a press conference, the ECTF director Mr. Katifny, said, "We have known about this radical group for a while now and had mounting evidence that an attack against the Aswan dam was imminent; we had to cowntar immediately!"
Mr. Katifny admitted that, while costume and disguise efforts were made, it was extremely difficult to infiltrate the group due to "significant differences in appearance" between the militant crocodiles and the ECTF personnel. Luckily, however, they had intercepted a number of emails sent by the group to a number of crocodiles in Sudan.
For over a year, these radicalized crocs had been meeting at the bottom of Lake Nasser planning to take down the dam in an effort to regain access to the rest of the Nile, re-establish the annual flooding, and eat more Egyptians. In a shocking video confession, the militant crocodiles claimed that they were doing the work of "nature" by allowing the Nile to flood again.
Mr. Katifny laughed off claims that the delta region of the Nile was under threat due to global warming and would benefit from the flooding, stating, "This suggestion has been made before many times and is completely unfounded." He added: "It's exactly like saying something like the world is flat - but, in fact, it's not!"
According to sources inside the ECTF, the team is looking more deeply into the possibility of the crocs' ties with the Muslim Brotherhood and Hamas.