Government undergoes therapy
Written by Makarona Mar 10th, 2010
National therapist Duktor Nader Nafsani has broken with doctor-patient confidentiality, revealing that the being known as “Government” is undergoing therapy to deal with some of his personal issues. "Government is on the verge of a nervous breakdown," says Nafsani, who is also a part-time elevator conductor at the Ministry of Subconscious Affairs. Born in 1952, Government has since showed several symptoms of...
Matar Man: The Secret Behind the Costume
Written by Subar Lox Mar 5th, 2010
Weeks after the bizarre torrential downpours in Sinai and Upper Egypt and not so long ago again in Cairo, a project known only as "Matar Man" was leaked by an insider at the Ministry of the Inside. The report apparently details a plan to "artificially induce rain showers."EKT's Ministry of the Inside mole, 00K, confirmed that ten top ministers, disguised as "common" Egyptians, gathered at Cedars Cafe to discuss...
Microbus driver sent to rehab for not causing an accident in over a year
Written by Makarona Mar 4th, 2010
The Reduction of Egypt’s Population through Senseless Road Accidents Committee* (TROEPTSRAC) convened last week to determine the fate of Mohamed Mitrakhus – a microbus driver who has consistently failed to cause a senseless accident in over a full year. Suspicion first fell on Mitrakhus when eye-witnesses reported seeing a microbus controversially driving within the boundaries of a single ...
Where would we be without the Police?
Written by Makarona Jan 25th, 2010
Today, Egypt celebrates Police Day – a day that only traitors and other rational thinkers consider ironic in being an "enforced" holiday for both private and public sectors. Unlike Mother’s Day, which gives thanks to little more than a few ounces of milk and some “rearing”, Police Day shows gratitude to a group of men capable of going to extremes to serve Egypt’s citizens. Indeed, not only are the police always...
Copts Granted Full Egyptian Citizenship
Written by Ward Zeyada Jan 7th, 2010
The 7th of January is normally Christmas for the predominantly Coptic Christians of Egypt, and more importantly an official holiday for the hard-working employees of the government. This time around, however, celebrations of the birth of baby Jesus have a special twist to them as the government has announced that the Christians of Egypt will be granted full citizenship, hence receiving a very close second degree...
