Egypt's (raunchy) parliamentary election symbols
Written by Makarona Nov 30th, 2011
Candidates running in Egypt’s ongoing parliamentary elections are randomly assigned identifying symbols to help illiterate voters find them in the voting lists on election day. The symbols normally feature mundane objects such as an apple, bicycle and radio. The images below were recently compiled by the BBC. What the BBC and other news sources failed to highlight were a handful of other less than savory symbols...
"Invisible hands" strike again
Written by Makarona Oct 10th, 2011
Intelligence reports from the Egyptian National Security Agency have revealed that “invisible hands” were yet again behind another bloody night in Cairo. During a peaceful demonstration of Copts demanding their rights, the hands apparently hijacked a large armoured military vehicle and – while apparently sober – ran over several Coptic protesters. Information Minister, Kalami Fasya, stated that “the invisible hands...
Egypt's National Security Agency helps former torturers find "inner-child"
Written by Makarona Jul 4th, 2011
The newly structured National Security Agency – which has replaced Egypt’s State Security Investigations Disservice – has hired a team of left-wing therapists with questionable sexual orientations to rehabilitate former State Security tortures and help them find their “inner-child.” The former tortures are currently undergoing an intensive program of meditation, crystal healing, and knitting, all the while focusing...
How to become a political activist in Egypt
Written by EKT Team May 19th, 2011
After conducting extensive research and interviewing some 20 million active activists in Cairo alone, EKT can now finally publish this invaluable guide that will help anyone, including accountants, jumpstart their activist career. Step one Get a Twitter account. Give yourself a maverick username, ideally something with that includes the word “rebel”, “revolt”, “radical” or “rabies”. The world “monkey” also seems to...
Salafis demand Hindus & Buddhists who were Muslims in a previous life to reconvert
Written by Makarona May 10th, 2011
The Egyptian Salafi movement has accused the Indian government of holding captive millions of Hindus and Buddhists who had allegedly been Muslims in a previous life. “These people had converted to Islam at some point in the distant past and they are now being kept hidden inside Buddhist temples and ashrams all over South Asia,” said Salafi leader Mohammed Hareeqa while ominously playing with a box of matches. “We...
