Egypt's gay community "homophobic"
Written by Makarona May 3rd, 2010
A controversial study conducted by the DUC (Dokora University in Cairo) has revealed that Egypt’s underground gay community suffers from homophobia. The study has also confirmed that, despite government figures, there may be more than 15 homosexuals in Egypt, and even more outside of prisons. However, lead researcher Mido Libeedo said that due to strong cultural conditioning, even gays in Egypt could not help having...
Ministry of Education renamed "Violeaching Ministry"
Written by Makarona Mar 24th, 2010
"FOUR ...[TAKH!]... TIMES ...[TAKH!]... FOUR ...[TAKH!]... EEKWAL ...[TAKH!]... SIXTEEN ...!!" These were the words bellowed by primary school teacher Meestar Kashkool while he punched one of his students in the face between each pause in that sentence. “Is it a controversial teaching method? Yes,” he answered himself in an interview with EKT. “But will that student ever forget the answer to the question of...
ElBaradei reveals he is a trained Jedi Master
Written by Makarona Mar 14th, 2010
News that Mohamed ElBaradei can manipulate “the force” has shaken Egypt’s governing party. The winner of the Nobel "Hottest Mustache" Prize announced his powers by revealing his lightsaber during a meeting with "rebel" opposition parties in Egypt. He also claimed he is better known as "El-Barajedi" among inter-planetary circles. According to National Democratic Party (NDP) spokesperson, Jaba El Koshk, “The...
Government undergoes therapy
Written by Makarona Mar 10th, 2010
National therapist Duktor Nader Nafsani has broken with doctor-patient confidentiality, revealing that the being known as “Government” is undergoing therapy to deal with some of his personal issues. "Government is on the verge of a nervous breakdown," says Nafsani, who is also a part-time elevator conductor at the Ministry of Subconscious Affairs. Born in 1952, Government has since showed several symptoms of...
Matar Man: The Secret Behind the Costume
Written by Subar Lox Mar 5th, 2010
Weeks after the bizarre torrential downpours in Sinai and Upper Egypt and not so long ago again in Cairo, a project known only as "Matar Man" was leaked by an insider at the Ministry of the Inside. The report apparently details a plan to "artificially induce rain showers."EKT's Ministry of the Inside mole, 00K, confirmed that ten top ministers, disguised as "common" Egyptians, gathered at Cedars Cafe to discuss...
