Sunday, 21st of December, 2014
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Classifieds

Slaves needed

Looking for salves. They don’t have to be black (I’m not racist). Any non-retarded homo sapiens who will do my bidding without compensation will suffice. If interested, please email me your application at master@slavelord.com.

Leftover weapons

Selling weapons leftover by thugs that made sure Egypt's parliamentary election was safe and under control. Have knives, swords, large sticks with nails sticking out of them, belts, rocks, chains, as well as an assortment of dildos. Email me at ndp@alwayswins.com

Looking for someone to "ungaj" with

Hello I am male 34 years, looking for man to walk by Nile with while joining forearms. But no funny business. Email me at Imnotgay@walahi.com

Little Picnics Demand

I want as many little picnics as possible. NOW! Little picnics, little picnics! If you dare to share your passion for little picnics with me and my friends contact me: lp'sbabywhawha@picnicarelittleforever.com

McFart burgers for sale

Selling home-made burgers guaranteed to give you some of the best gas you've ever experience. Money back guaranteed if you're not satisfied with the loudness or scent of your gas. Stay away from children and small mammal during release. Call 1900-FASYA for home delivery.

'I was at the airport' sign

For the highest bidder, an authentic hand-written sign that proves you picked up El Baradei from the airport. Will be very useful after the government makes him disappear.

Hotel rooms for seeko-seeko

Offering hotel rooms available by the hour. No ID required. Have easy ways to sneak in woman. All done under the table no worry. Call 1900-SEKIS

Web Site Complete

3 pages, 15 links, domain and hosting, 125 LE. Flash intro + 65 LE. Can embed adult sites + 85 LE. Sign up now! Send fax to: 0777 0500

Makrosoft

Alfein, XB, Vesta, Sab3a - All available, free with ringtones. SMS 6969

Free Bikhtifabnau

German made! like new - very high quality. Available only for a very limited time - this one will go fast. Call or email for questions.

Chipsy Bil Khal

Found in closet yesterday while cleaning up. Twelve years old - hot collectors item. Complete with original/classic 90's logo. Call me now!

Used - Good Condition

Two month old Ahram Weekly - used but still in good condition. highly legible. contact for details. pick up only.

Selling uPhone from Orenj

Selling cheap uPhone handset from Orenj. Made in China, assembled in Abdel Aziz street. Comes with Greentooth. Price negotiable.

Looking for 2nd wife

Looking for second wife to help take care of first wife. She is very nice but very old. You will have your own bed, meals included.

Looking for Apt.

Single male looking for apartment. No, not megalomaniac serial-killer. Yes, i'm perfectly normal. Just looking for a place to live. No, not insane.

Souvenir: CIFF ticket

Entrance ticket to one of the very few films that screened correctly in the film festival. Film was crap, but still rare piece. Bids starting at LE 100.

want to go outside?

don't forget your gas mask! now only 50LE. Chinese made - and they know a thing or two about air quality control.

Original Antique

Found in khan al khalili in cairo, original statues, thousands of years old. contact for more info. I give you best brize

Found! bloodied rock!

had to sort through the rubbish outside algerian teams' hotel to get this one! 100% guaranteed algerian blood on rock. going for the lowly price of LE20 - any takers? hurry for this piece of history!

human organ sale

Offering human organs trafficked from Sudan. Large selection of hearts, livers, kidnies, testes – all moderately fresh. Good brice.

haunted apartment lease

Leasing large haunted apartment in Agouza. Hot female ghost, enjoys giving backrubs. Ideal for bachelors into new age stuff.

wanted - algerian flag

- pay any price, to be used in art/collage project. any size will do. ready in time for match

Wanted: Visa

To get the F outta here

Looking for husband

Looking for husband. I cook very well and come with original hymen still intact fabrica. Meet at Abu Tarek 8 bm after tomorrow.

Dandruff

Selling dandruff. Have loads. Works for any occasion with any hair type. Make it look like you were just in a snow storm or use it more subtly.

Motorola StarTAC

Digital. Original. Barely functional. Collector's item. GSM network ready. First "clam shell" mobile ever - released in '96.

Fresh air for sale

Selling bottled fresh air caught from outskirts of Cairo. Very invigorating. May get you high. LE30 a whiff.

Super saver for women

Selling cheap, second hand menstrual pads and tampons. Blood barely noticeable. 50 piasters/unit.

Looking for

Looking for soul mate to share my life with. Large cup size preferable. Willing to pay.

Found!

Plastic bag caught in a bush downstairs. Has blue/red Metro logo. Contents unknown: something sticky and slightly smelly inside. Callers be prepared to answer questions about the bag so i can make sure it gets back to the right person.

Rare Birds

Rare uninfected birds.  I have kept these chickens and pigeons in my room with me so that they don't get infected with flying pig flu or bird flu.  These are NOT sick animals, so I have to charge accordingly.  As it stands I'm asking for 299 L.E. per bird.

CHEEAP

Used torture equipment.  Tools are handy around the house or could be re-configured to revert them to what they were originally used for.  Good for use on animals/pets.   Each item 1 L.E. or BO.

New item for sale

Temperature operated push up bra; expands with heat! Start dancing and dazzle the guys!

Cheap Offer!

Used pair of underwear for only LE2 – beat that Omar Efandi!

For sale:

Remote control with mute option. Works on girlfriends, wives and exes. 50L

Suzuki for sale

12,000 CC, 20-cylindar, 1828 Model, ABS. 3-seater. Fabreeqa ya pasha

Selling ashes

from Bob Marley’s last J

Man selling his hand

comes with a free Rolex – slightly bloodied

Wanted

someone to go back in time with me. Pay when we get back, if. Must have your own weapons.