Saturday, 31st of July, 2010
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Egypt to Nile basin countries: "Submit or we’ll release Giza zoo animals on you."

Written by Makarona May 30th, 2010 | International
Sunday, 30th of May, 2010
While touching the Nile in Cairo may cause AIDS, the river is still a primary source of drinking water for Egyptians.

Negotiations over a Nile water-sharing agreement between Egypt and poorer countries further south turned to dispute last week when Egypt threatened to “release the Giza zoo animals on their asses.” The threat comes amidst fears that countries closer to the source of the Nile may now impede the flow of water to Egypt, which according to government-owned newspapers, may end Egypt’s 7000 year long historical right “to leave taps running simply...

Egypt's gay community "homophobic"

Written by Makarona May 3rd, 2010 | Features
Monday, 3rd of May, 2010

A controversial study conducted by the DUC (Dokora University in Cairo) has revealed that Egypt’s underground gay community suffers from homophobia. The study has also confirmed that, despite government figures, there may be more than 15 homosexuals in Egypt, and even more outside of prisons. However, lead researcher Mido Libeedo said that due to strong cultural conditioning, even gays in Egypt...

Ministry of Education renamed "Violeaching Ministry"

Written by Makarona Mar 24th, 2010 | Features
Wednesday, 24th of March, 2010

"FOUR ...[TAKH!]... TIMES ...[TAKH!]... FOUR ...[TAKH!]... EEKWAL ...[TAKH!]... SIXTEEN ...!!" These were the words bellowed by primary school teacher Meestar Kashkool while he punched one of his students in the face between each pause in that sentence. “Is it a controversial teaching method? Yes,” he answered himself in an interview with EKT. “But will that student ever forget the answer to...

ElBaradei reveals he is a trained Jedi Master

Written by Makarona Mar 14th, 2010 | Features

News that Mohamed ElBaradei can manipulate “the force” has shaken Egypt’s governing party. The winner of the Nobel "Hottest Mustache" Prize announced his powers by revealing his lightsaber during a meeting with "rebel" opposition parties in Egypt. He also claimed he is better known as "El...

Woods Pens Major Sponsorship Deal with Aazra'

Written by Subar Lox Mar 11th, 2010 | El Kemala

After a career-threatening scandal, Tiger Woods penned a deal last week with Egypt's controversial 3arza2 sex shop to promote its products for as long as it takes him to return to golf. 3azra2, Egypt's first and only known sex shop, is hoping this major signing will help it recover from an earlier...

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